I know you mean well, and perhaps there will be a time when my girl actually does need your help. But when I stop to think about what my little girl goes through on a regular basis I have to first stand up for her. Would you stop her if she were a typical 8 year old girl? I don't think so.
Saturday was Emery and Tarenne's recital. I was dropping Emery at her back stage room and signing her in when Tarenne asked me if she could go out into the hall. I told her sure, but stay close by. I saw a woman immediately try to stop her as she got out the door and I stuck my head out and said, "She's okay." I finished signing Em in and walked out into the hall to see that the lady had followed Tarenne down the hall and was talking to her telling her to come back down the hall. I smiled at her and said, "She's fine, I told her she could come out." I mean I know she was trying to help, but poor Tarenne, doesn't she deserve the same respect as all the other girls in her class who too were wondering in the hall? The lady told me that she was Tarenne's backstage Mom. Tarenne looked at her, then at me and said, "Mom, she's mean!" I smiled and said, she knows the other Mom, I'm sure she'll be fine. Then when she realized where I was coming from she admitted, "Well good for her, she doesn't know me, I don't blame her for not wanting to come with me." I just finished with, "Well I had just told her she could come into the hallway."
Then on Sunday after I dropped Emery at her class I was walking down the upper hallway when I saw Tarenne walking from the elementary class toward Marley's class where Joe was dropping Marley off. I saw a lady stop Tarenne. I walked down the stairs to them, and Tarenne said, "Mom, I don't know where I'm supposed to be." The lady just smiled at me like she had really helped us out. I continued my conversation with Tarenne, "You were going to get Daddy weren't you?"
"Yes Mom!"
"Well let's go find where you are supposed to be."
Last night I was telling Joe about this and told him how much I felt for Tarenne. That even though she KNOWS what she is doing and where she is supposed to be or where she is going those around her assume she doesn't. I said I want to get her a shirt that says, "I'm capable thank you" and then on the back put "Mom and Dad Say So!".
I had to laugh when tonight I went to Dave Hingsburger's blog and read about a young adult with T21 who has found her own solution to this annoyance. You should go read it: www.davehingsburger.blogspot.com
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
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6 comments:
I am sorry to hear about what happened to T After reading Dave's story I suggest that you should get her a card like that ,
Yeah, her card should read,
"Thanks, but Mom said it was okay.
Didn't you know Down syndrome rocks baby!"
Tarenne probably couldn't say exactly where she was going (to answer the woman's question), but I am sure she knew exactly where she was headed before getting tripped up with the authorities, so to speak.
I LOVE what Dave wrote! I can totally see Tarenne doing something with a card or shirt!
Haven't read Dave yet, but I wanted to say that I can TOTALLY see how Miss T would be annoyed! On the other hand, there have been times when people have stepped in with Brig and I was SO GLAD! Like the time he got it in his head to leave our house and go find a friend. It was after dark, and some high school boys who knew him saw him walking down the street alone. They could've figured he was mature at 16 (this was last year) and knew what he was doing, but instead they got him to hop into their car and drove him home. We were panicked and almost ready to call the police! It was one of those times I was thankful to have other eyes and ears watching out for Brig...and thankful for the time he spends with the typical kids in his school so that they KNEW him and were comfortable approaching him.
Tarenne if I saw you in a corridor I would stop you too - but only cos I think you're really cool and cos I would recognize you from this blog. I think you are the bee's knees!!! Grown-ups can be silly about our Princessly uniqueness can't they - sigh ... pfpfpfpf - thank goodness you are such a groovy chick eh???
I LOOOOVE your blog, and I soooo look up to you cos you are older than me.
Take care, speak soon
Abigail, aged 2, France
I understand your frustration but for us the problem has always been the opposite.
Sissy is a wanderer and not as competent as some other down syndrome people
She once took the dog for a walk at 5 am. Walked for a couple of miles through strange neighborhoods. Walked past people in their yards who visited with her for a bit and watched her go on her way. It never crossed their minds to wonder what she was doing.
We called the police who found her over a mile from home. She had no clue where she was.
This type of thing happened several times. She stopped in a little store once and they made her leave because she had no money to buy anything. We are going nuts trying to find her and these guys threw her back out on the street!
We now have an alarm system to alert us is she leaves the house during the wee hours of the morning so at least that is under control, but if you see Sissy running around on her own, please stop her and find me!
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